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Helping society by extending the English language to have a 3rd person protocol of pronouns for communicating unambiguously and gender-free. |
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Mission: Increase English language gender-free clarity by reducing ambiguity thru VYLZ Protocol UPDATE: VYLZ-2 is released with publication of 'Penzar - Journal of advanced ideas' including example usage (below). VYLZ-e is now depracated. |
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VYLZ-2 |
Female |
Unspecified |
Male |
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Subject |
she |
ze |
he |
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Object |
her |
zim |
him |
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Poss. adjective |
her |
zer |
his |
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Poss. pronoun |
hers |
zers |
his |
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Reflexive |
herself |
zelf |
himself |
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woman |
zan |
man |
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women |
zen |
men |
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zind |
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The Adventures of Sam and North Compass.
Part 1. By the pool, or initial blank slate.
Somebody is in a dream of opposites. A switch is toggled and what was white is
black. What was up is down, and down is now up. What was in is now out, and
out is in. What was front is now back, and back front. Hot is cold, cold is
hot. Big is small, small is big. Strange is normal, normal is now unusual.
In this dream, this reversed-polarity world would be quite strange and not a
little frightening, but with polarity flipped this is just another normal day.
Then the world changes from reversed polarity to a single constant color:
white. In either a normal or reversed polarity world, that would be unusual,
but the rules had changed. In a constant world, white is just white. It's
neither normal nor strange, it is just a dream.
The scene opens to a uniform white glow in all directions, like a blank white
page. Nothing is discernible except for some sounds.
Voice1: "Hello. Is anyone there? . . . Oh well, I guess it's me, myself, and
I again.”
Voice2: "Did somebody say something?”
Voice1: "Yes, I'm here. Eh, I'm here, wherever here is, that is. I can't
really see anything.”
Voice2: "Yes, I know what you mean. Everything looks the same, I can't
distinguish anything.”
Voice1: "I don't recognize anything. I can't even see myself.”
Voice2: "Yes, it looks the same over here."
Voice1: "Well, wherever this is, we are here together!"
Voice2: "Where ever this place is, I still feel lost."
Voice1: "Do you have a name?"
Voice2: "I've never thought about that. I suppose I should. I've been here as
long as I can remember, but I don't have a name. Interesting."
Voice1: "Me too. For as long as I've been here, one would think I'd have
thought of my name before now."
Voice2: "Well, better late than never. I suppose I'll be a chameleon. I'll be
a chameleon and make myself pure white."
Voice1: "Huh? What are the rules here? You just said, 'I suppose I'll be a
chameleon.' You mean we get to decide what we want to be? What about what we
already are?"
Voice2: "We are already lost, that's what we already are."
Voice1: "Oh yeah. I see. Well, did deciding to be a chameleon make you a
chameleon?"
Voice2: "I can't really tell. I can't see anything."
Voice1: "You mean it's dark where you're at?"
Voice2: "No, it's not dark. One of my eyes sees white. The other eye sees
nothing."
Voice1: "Wait a minute. The absence of light implies darkness. If there's no
light, then it's dark. Right?"
Voice2: "Logically, that sounds correct. Yet I can tell you with complete
certainty that what I'm sensing in one eye is the absence of sight. The
absence of sight is different from the absence of light."
Voice1: “What a strange thing to say.”
Through the whiteness, a tiny pinpoint clearing appears for a second, then is
gone.
Voice1: "I think I see your point. Figuratively, that is. If we have to
choose what we are, then I think I'll be a compass. That way I'll always have
a sense of direction. My name will be North. North Compass! In this place
the laws of physics are very curious. These laws are different from the
physics where I come from. Where I come from, things are what they are, not
what we want them to be. But I can play well with others. I'll be the reed
that bends in the wind."
Just then, the fog lifts and we find a white chameleon clinging to a branch on
a tree next to a pool of water. Under the chameleon on the ground is a
meerkat. Not a "mere cat", but a meerkat. And certainly not a mere meerkat,
for this meerkat is rather unusual. Ze is very oddly balancing on zer head at
the edge of a pool, and is staring into the pool. Ze's holding a glass of
water with a straw in it, but the glass is right-side up. Yet the meerkat is
upside down, so from zer perspective the glass is being held upside down. And
fortunately so, because the glass is half full of water. But, and this may be
important where the quirky meerkat is concerned, the glass is also half empty
(of water that is). The glass is also half full of air. This latter point
might seem insignificant, but as we'll see where the meerkat is involved, the
insignificant can be critical.
The meerkat is mumbling to zelf, "The cup is half full. But it's upside
down, and the straw is hanging outside the bottom of the cup. What a strange
place this is, or a strange dream. Perhaps it's a normal dream, except that
the cup is never upside down. It must be a strange dream. Or maybe it's a
strange place in a normal dream. Or maybe it's a strange place in a strange
dream. What a strange thought. But if this is a dream, then strange is the
norm, so it can't be a strange dream, it must be a normally-strange dream.
Yes, it's normal strange, not strange strange." As was said before, this is
no mere meerkat.
Suddenly, in the reflection in the pool, the meerkat is aware of a
ghost-white lizard in a tree nearby. This startles the meerkat and ze loses
zer balance and falls into the pool head first. Somewhat unsurprisingly, the
meerkat rights zelf upside down in the pool. Zer head is resting on the bottom
of the shallow pool and zer feet are sticking out of the water.
The meerkat turned the glass of water upside down as ze splashed into the
pool. The result is quite unexpected. The glass had been half full of water.
It's now amazingly still half full of water. But since the glass is upside
down underwater, one half of it is air which has floated upward and is resting
on the bottom of the upside-down glass. The rest of the glass has no air so
therefore it is sharing the water with the rest of the pool. The straw is
being held in place by some air bubbles clinging to its side.
Voice1: "B-Look b-at b-me. B-My b-name b-is b-North b-Compass, b-and b-I'm
b-pointb-ing b-North. B-Oh, b-that b-didn't b-taste b-good. B-Not b-good b-at
b-all. B-Hey, b-what's b-wrong b-with b-this b-place?"
North contemplates the air, and then sees the glass of water in front of zim.
Sensing that something is not quite right, but not sure exactly what, North
takes a drink from the straw that's sticking into the air at the bottom of the
glass. North blows through the straw and pushes the water in the straw into
the air bubble. After the water is blown out, North sucks on the straw and
tastes the air. This air tastes better than the water from moments ago, so
North breathes in the air through the straw.
North: "B-Ah, b-much b-better. B-I b-think b-I'll b-breath b-some b-more b-of
b-this b-air."
North takes another breath, and another, and then all the air in the glass is
gone. Where moments ago the glass was half full of air, now it's empty of air,
but full of water.
The chameleon has been watching the meerkat with one eye. The other eye, well,
for the moment, the other eye is experiencing a lack of sight; not a lack of
light, which would be darkness, but a lack of sight. Seeing that the meerkat
has been underwater for a few moments, the chameleon decides to rescue the day.
Chameleon: "Hang in there meerkat, I'll save you."
The chameleon leaps into the air towards zer drowning friend. Ze extends four
limbs outward and begins flapping furiously. The fury was not enough to fly.
Fortunately, the chameleon leaped in the right direction towards North and
landed on zer upward turned foot which was sticking out of the water. North's
foot lurches and Sam the chameleon is flung through the air back to the bank of
the pool.
You might try to imagine the sensation of being upside down in water thinking
you're right side up, and that your compass is pointed just right, or up, which
is actually down, when suddenly something grabs your foot from below, or above,
it's all relative. That makes you lose balance and fall over, or in this case
float up so that you're upside down with your head below air, or above air, or
at least you can say your head is in the air, and now your head is getting all
soaking dry, but at least your sopping wet. Meanwhile, the chameleon has
leaped to dry land and is crawling steadfastly back to the safety of the tree.
Meerkat: "Hey, this tastes better. But I'm feeling a little vertigo. Look at
me. Wheeeeee! I'm upside down and standing on the sky. Everything looks
upside down compared to a minute ago. What a strange place this is, or maybe
it's a strange dream, or -- . Hello there, on the tree. I say, Hello there."
Chameleon: "Hello. I'm Sam the chameleon."
Meerkat: "I'm North Compass the compass. Eh, that is, I'm a compass and my
name is North Compass. Hmmmm. Something isn't quite right. You probably
can't tell I'm a compass because I'm upside down."
Sam rolled both eyes in disbelief, but not both together. While one eye was
rolling at the top, the other was at the bottom. That in itself was curious,
but not unexpected. What was unexpected was that one eye rolled in one
direction, and the other rolled in the opposite direction.
North Compass noticed Sam's eyes rolling opposite and this startled zim. For
one fleeting moment North felt like leaping head first back into the pool to
make things right again. Then the moment passed.
Sam: "Say North, are you sure you're a compass?"
North: "North! Hmmm, why did you want me to say North. And sure I'm sure.
I've been a compass for as long as I've thought of being something. And before
that, well, things were a little foggy."
Sam: "Maybe you should walk over to the pool and look at your reflection. Oh,
and be careful to keep your balance. We wouldn't want you to lose your
balancing act just by walking."
North: "Well, I suppose I could try to maintain this balancing feat on my feet
as I edge over to the pool. Anyways, if I fell over it's not like I probably
couldn't balance on my feet again. I'll inch over to the pool, slowly,
slowly, keep the balance. There, now I'll lean over and check. Yep, I'm a
compass alright, and pointing due North."
Sam: "Eh, North, have you ever seen a compass before?"
North: "Yes. About 2 seconds ago."
Sam: "I mean prior to that."
North: "I do have this brief memory that I've seen a compass prior to just now.
I remember I was floating above air right before I fell into the air. Yes,
it's clearer now, I have seen myself, that is, I've seen a compass before. It
was right after I was startled by a creature from below that grabbed my foot
and tried to pull me down. Then I lost my balance and fell down into the air
and even went under-air for a second. As I looked up I saw my reflection on
the surface of the air."
Sam: "See here, North. This may come as a shock to you, but you're a meerkat,
not a compass. I was in the tree when you fell in the water and was just
bobbing upside down with your feet sticking out of the water. I could see
bubbles floating up so I figured you were drowning and I leaped towards you to
rescue you. All I managed was to land on your foot, and this must have
startled you and you flung me to the bank. Right now the way you are standing
on the ground is supposed to be your natural right-side up."
This was almost too much for North to handle. The vertigo not only returned,
but started to spin. Spinning vertigo would be enough to lose one's sense of,
well, everything. But North's vertigo then attempted in a very determined
fashion to invert itself inside out, upside down, and left-right. Fortunately,
the fog returned and all was solid white with no spinning.
North: "Sam?"
Sam: "What?"
North: "I seem to have got my directions all mixed up. I'll work on getting it
straightened out. My compass isn't working right. I can't tell up from down,
left from right, wet from dry, nor black from white. I hope this clears up
soon."
Sam: "Good idea."
North: "I think I like the fog better for now. It's a lot clearer."
Sam: "Go to sleep North. I'll see you in the morning."
Accessed
times since June 26, 2006.